Jeremy's 2020 Best Picture Rankings

Welcome to my Oscars preview. I have seen all nine of the Best Picture nominees, and as such, I have some opinions on each of these. Let's dive right in!

The "What the Hell?" Category

9) Joker

Am I missing something here? This movie is not only not Oscar-worthy, I didn't even think it was good. Like it was super bad. What is even happening? Why did DC let Todd Phillips make this movie? Invisible men in the movie turn off social services so Joaquin Phoenix goes insane and starts killing people? And then riots ensue? And then........society? What a boring, messy, unnecessary film, and may God have mercy on whatever voters voted for this movie, and anyone who has this listed anywhere other than last on their rankings. Woof is all I can say here.

The Totally Deserving of Being Nominated Category

8) Ford V Ferrari

Ford V Ferrari takes up the Green Book spot from last year: cute but not blowing anyone away, but Ford V Ferarri doesn't have any of the tired racial stereotypes that Green Book had, so the cuteness and the "working against the odds" nature of Ford V Ferrari go a lot further than our "Best Picture" from last year. Great performances by both Matt Damon and Christian Bale. Also, did the people at Ford get to see the script before this film got made because they do not come out of this one looking very good? Preventing Ken Miles from getting first place, then he dies like four months later while testing out your new car? Bad look for my guys. Anyway, cute but ultimately not worthy of the top prize.

7) The Irishman

I actually did sit down and watch this in one sitting (with a break to order pizza in the middle), and I actually really enjoyed this behemoth. I'm not super picky when it comes to aging special effects, so the de-aging special effects and the aging makeup didn't really bug me. De Niro was fine in this movie, playing a sort of dunderhead hitman. Joe Pesci is much more effective, keeping his entire performance understated and quiet, the polar opposite of his hothead persona made famous in Goodfellas, well deserving of the Supporting Actor nom he received. And while I do enjoy Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, I would say the Supporting Actor award should go to Al Pacino for his portrayal of Jimmy Hoffa here. I sometimes forget about how great of an actor Pacino is, but then he throws out a performance like this one, and it simply blows you away.

6) Little Women

I read this book for the first time immediately before seeing this film, and it definitely helped. If I hadn't, I think I probably would not have enjoyed it as much, but I think that Greta Gerwig is assuming everyone is familiar with the material. And as such, she has organized this adaptation in a way that allows her to skip around in time, and also fiddle with the ending of the actual book. She takes the stupidest part of the book (Jo settling down with that old professor despite spending the whole book protesting against marriage or settling down, and also probably being gay) and Gerwig basically deleted it, including it in the film but framing it as a concession the character Jo is making about the in-movie version of the book. This is essentially how this nonsensical ending was put into the original novel anyway. Also, Gerwig's assumption of the audience's knowledge of the source material allows her to skip a lot of emotional development, especially with Meg's marriage (which happens suddenly off camera) and honestly much of the emotional fleshing out of the characters and their relationships happens off screen during the movie. So while I do think Gerwig should be winning Best Director (this movie is freaking beautiful and she's not even nominated, but that tool Todd Phillips is) I would not award the film Best Picture.

The Great Movies, Interchangable with Each Other in Ranking

5) Jojo Rabbit

Just your feel typical good story about Nazis, featuring an imaginary Hitler, so many swastikas. Seriously though, this movie is a delight, the young actors are all great, and Scarlett Johansson's performance deserves to win Best Supporting Actress (although I do love Florence Pugh in Little Women, and I think Pugh should have been nominated for Best Actress for Midsommar). I love Taika Waititi, everything he touches seems to work out lately. Thor: Ragnarok is great. Also, this movie really makes Nazis look like idiots. Sam Rockwell and Alfie Allen play obviously gay lovers, lackadaisically running a Nazi Youth camp. It's super goofy, but the relationships between Jojo and his mother and Elsa have a lot of heart and weight. Great stuff.

4) Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

I have always loved Tarantino, and when you get him with a likeable Leo as his main character and a likeable Brad Pitt as the second lead, and then at the end they get to prevent the very likeable Margot Robbie/Sharon Tate from being killed, that's a recipe for success. This movie is Tarantino at his laziest plot-wise, I mean that in terms of the flow of the movie, not as a knock against the screenwriting. As the film is about Hollywood, it involves a whole lot of driving around, and a lot of sitting around on film sets. Brad and Leo have a fun bro-time relationship. Again, great stuff, could have just as easily been in spot five or three.

3) Marriage Story

Woof, this is some real stuff. A brutal, honest look at the dissolution of a marriage. Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson are both amazing in this movie, as well as Laura Dern. I hate to be a ScarJo stan, but since Florence Pugh's performance in Midsommar isn't nominated, I think that I am rooting for her to win both of her acting noms. I'll also be rooting for Adam Driver to win Best Actor (but won't be upset if Leo wins) (but will be upset if Joaquin Phoenix wins) (Cuz Joker was trash). Usually Noah Baumbach movies are too dry, too cringey for me, but while this movie did have moments where cringey things are said, I always felt as if they were part of an extremely necessary conversation going on in the film. Despite only showing the two main characters during the divorce process, we still get the complete picture of what made them fall in love, why neither are the hero or villain. I really enjoyed this movie and I hope it takes home a couple of trophies (although I'm not holding my breath).

The Favorites (for a reason)

2) Parasite

The biggest injustice of this awards season (other than Gerwig's snub) is that none of the amazing actors and actresses from this film got nominated. It's unreal. We are going to nominate Margot Robbie and Charlize Theron for that ridiculous Fox News sexual harassment movie instead of Park So-dam or Cho Yeo-jeong? We're going to reward Joaquin Phoenix for that ridiculous Joker performance instead of Song Kang-Ho? That shit's whack. Anyways, Parasite is a hilarious film about the relationship between the upper and lower classes and two families who have a symbiotic relationship, one family is unknowing of this fact, while the other family's entire livelihood relies on it. Parasite is funny and sad, it's beautifully shot, and its message is poignant. If this movie wins Best Picture, I'll be pleased. In fact, despite this being my second favorite, I'm actually probably rooting for Parasite to win Best Picture, Best Foreign Language Film, and Best Director tonight. Sam Mendes has already won before, I don't think he'll mind losing to Bong Joon-ho this time.

1) 1917

This film is certainly a technical marvel, the whole thing existing as one long shot. It's exactly the kind of experience that you hope for in a film: it sucks you in, and you sit on the edge of your seat for two hours, waiting with anticipation, hoping the two main characters can get to their destination and stop the men from dying. The movie was essentially one big video game quest, and while the guest appearances by famous people were sometimes distracting (cough* Richard Madden *cough), they were mostly harmless and occasionally amazing (cough* Hot Priest *cough). Sometimes when you go see a movie, you want to laugh, sometimes you want to think or be challenged, and sometimes you just want to hang on for the ride. Parasite made you laugh and think, and 1917 grabbed you by the pants and whipped you along. Both were amazing and they virtually tied, but 1917 just slightly (ever so slightly) got my edge.

There's my rankings, as far as I can tell, the voters seem to be lock step with me on the top two so hopefully we can avoid a pants down situation like last year (this can only happen if Joker wins Best Pic somehow). Crazy idea but next year we should nominate some not white people for some acting awards. It's not every year that we have a Korean movie nominated for Best Picture, bad look to shut out the amazing Korean cast. Real bad. At least, they can maybe come up on stage at the end of the show while Parasite is being awarded Best Pic.